A Special 9 Years – by Tony

Nov 9th, 2010 | By | Category: Relationship Testimonials

Relationship Testimonials

A Special 9 Years

by Tony

I am English by birth educated in England and America, and lived most of my younger life after university, based in America. I am a Management Consultant. For many years I was working for International Banks and going to “rescue” their investments (mainly manufacturing businesses) all over the world – most of my work was in the Far East and Eastern Europe (although my family remained in America during those years).

I was once married (divorced 22 years ago), and have 4 children and 9 grandchildren living in different parts of the world. Whilst abroad, during my marriage and after, I was serially unfaithful with women, both in terms of affairs, one night stands and (as I got older) p4p.

Some 18 years ago, I met a Hong-Kong based, part-Chinese/part-Malay lady trainee- lawyer (age 21), in a Hong Kong lawyer’s office, whom I asked out and who, on the fourth date, after being invited to my hotel room, turned out to have a “surprise” in her panties.

That was my first ever TS experience – From that date a true relationship developed. We were together (living together) over 9 years. During that time she qualified as a lawyer, traveled with me when our schedules permitted. She met all my children and my ex-wife and her second husband. I did not tell my children that my partner was an LB on the first meeting, only after each of them got to know her.
Our friends were a cross section of ex-pats and locals within the communities in which we moved, and she had LB friends, a few of whom were “on the game”, but the majority of whom led that which we would consider to be “normal” lives, in “normal” jobs.

Obviously, during those years I learned a great deal about the TS/LB mentality – how some (my partner for instance) – liked their equipment and how others wanted to cut it off. There are as many variations of the psyche in LB’s as there are in the standard male and female minds.

Unfortunately, my partner took ill with lymphatic cancer (albeit not related to her breast implants).  I quit my job and we went round the world on a search for a miracle cure. Nearly 12 months after the first diagnosis, she passed away. Because we tried to find a cure for her illness in so many countries, I not only lost my job, but hospitals and treatment took most of my savings.

During the years we were together I was never once unfaithful, and I do not believe she was unfaithful either.

After her passing, I left Hong Kong (I found her parents “suffocating”) I was sad for a year, then “picked myself up” and dated girls and came to Thailand and had a few p4p TS’s, for “one night stands” and very short relationships . This was over a 2 year period.

Then, one bright morning, in Singapore, whilst waiting in the reception area of an Accountant’s office, I fancied the receptionist (part-Malay/part-Thai) whom I recognized as TS. I asked her out, she accepted.

We met at a bar; she said “I have to tell you something”. I said touched her Adam’s apple and told her she did not need to tell me anything I knew she was TS.

We dated for a couple of months and then I was assigned to a job in Australia. I asked her if she wanted to accompany me. She did. We went to Australia together.

This was a “romance” where she got an education at college, an Australian visa and played housewife, she was 22 years old, and  In return, I got a permanent, youthful, attractive, intelligent “live-in” TS girlfriend. But, in all honesty, whilst we were friends and lovers, we were not “in love” with each other – the “big spark” was never there.

Then I was transferred to Chile (where I could not take her and she would not have wanted to go)  and so I let her stay in Australia in my (rented) apartment until the end of the lease (11 months) and graduate from college the following year. I had paid for tuition etc in advance.

We  kept in touch over the next three years, she  dated men nearer her age, and one man in particular encouraged her to have reassignment surgery. In July 2008 (against my advice) she had the “final cut” and her boy-friend asked her to marry him.

She has no parents (they died when she was a teenager) and I was invited to “give her away” at her wedding at the year end – so I traveled to Australia for her wedding just before Xmas 2008. Her fiancé knew of my relationship with his bride-to-be, and I had spoken to him via Skype and assured him I would not try the new “box” before the wedding day.

Incidentally, apropos the girl in Australia, two of my children met her a couple of times, and again accepted her without question. I guess I am kind of proud that I (or more honestly, my ex-wife) raised kids who are totally non-judgmental.

The night before the wedding my daughter, her husband and I arrived in Australia and (as my son-in-law was tired he went to bed) my daughter and I had dinner with the bride-to-be. My daughter had visited her in Australia and they were good friends. My daughter asked about certain of the TS girls my daughter had met when she had visited and we were told that none of those friends had been invited to the wedding because the groom’s parents did not know that the bride was trans-gender.

I rarely lose my temper, but I lost it then! I had taught this girl virtually everything she knew, from how to eat with a knife and fork upwards. Most of all I had taught her about honesty and ethics and I found her attitude disgusting and dishonorable.

Had it not been for my daughter’s insistence, I would have walked out at that point. However, I gritted my teeth and the next day walked her down the aisle in the church. After dinner, dancing with my daughter, my daughter remarked that this was the first wedding she had ever been to where there was not even a gay hairdresser.

I have kept in touch with the couple. They moved to Melbourne and last year adopted  Chinese/Caucasian mixed race baby from China. Her parents-in-law were told they adopted after they found they could not conceive.

My initial anger has long-gone. I am, of course, disappointed by the deception but I can understand their predicament. I am happy that they are happy and I am confident that they will make great parents to their adopted child.

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4 Comments to “A Special 9 Years – by Tony”

  1. Elizabeth says:

    Tony you are a very good man. I understand your disappointment with your former girlfriend’s dishonesty and while I don’t condone it I can relate. Some of us don’t want to risk what we have found by exposing ourselves to people who maybe judgmental or bigots. Personally I would not act that way and I would not go along with any man who sought to impose that kind of restriction on my behavior and freedom of speech. If the man thought his family could not accept me then he would have to chose between us. I wish I had a man like you in my life. Goddess bless you.

  2. Tony,

    Your article is one more inspiring reminder that good (wonderful) people exist and can be found. Thank you for being a role model for mankind in general, and for those of us in the transgender sub-culture in particular.

    If you’re ever in northern Nevada, I’m inviting you to a cup of coffee. 🙂


  3. hawaiinbear says:

    An inspiring article and you are a good role model for us all. I hope I can do as well.

  4. James says:

    I will be marrying my transgendered girlfriend in the UK next year. She is completely passable and no-one will know. I have a well paid job in education and could not afford to take the risk of anyone finding out especially after stories such as this.


    I am very supportive of transgender rights and will counter any offensiveness or ignorance I find online and I have no reservations whatsoever about what I am doing but I have to carry societies reservations around with me.
    I look forward to a time at some point in the future where I will be financially secure enough not to have to worry about the calamitous repercussions of losing my job.

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